Monday, May 21, 2007

My Introduction to this "New" Lifestyle

They say there is always a first time. And the first are usually memorable, be it good or bad. I have met a lot in my short stint living this life, i started out barely 4 years ago. Quite recent but not really a rookie.... I lived in the US for quite some time, coming back here 7 years ago... i would say i was technically straight back there...but of course, i knew i was gay at the back of my mind, browsing thru sites, getting off on pics and vids...hahaha... well havent we done that or i bet some of you guys still do... =P

...anyways fast forward to the year 2003, the month was November, time was somewhere close to midnite... while watching tv there was a feature on the local channel, a documentary about TV chatting...where kids would meet and post ads, then have sex, a new form of sexual revolution... its piqued my curiousity but totally forgot about it... then three weeks later after a trip out of town, i came back to Manila, took the day off, and didnt have anything to do... then while flipping thru the channels came across the TXTJAM channel... looked at it for a while...then decided to write down numbers, finally after mustering enough courage... decided to give it a try.... twas the scariest thing ive ever done... the guy on the other line seemed hot, his manly voice took the better of me...hehehe... he was from Ortigas and if im not mistaken his name is Mark. We ended up having phonesex (my first!) ...thinking that he would be the guy for me, we exchanged a few more lines and talked some more, the following nites, although at the same time, i decided to register and post ads of my own.

The following days, were busy... busy with answering sms messages from strangers, usually nonsense messages that didnt catch my fancy. This was before the advent of mms so i was just working on descriptions from total strangers, and basing peoples profiles on numbers, those who have nice or special numbers would be on the top of my list... but among all the numbers mr 450-3333 stood out.... his ad was really good and catchy... and you would see it every few minutes... his ad was a basis for mine.... simple, precise, straight to the point... we got to talk..and talk we did... the next few nites were spent on the phone, from 12 midnite when the house would sleep, i would spend hours on the phone, we would talk from anything and everything... i felt really comfortable around him... it was December when we finally met, it was a Sunday, the place, was Eastwood, in the now-closed Napa Restaurant. I ordered Caesar Salad and Pizza. He was late and when he arrived, i thought he looked pretty plain, he was chinese, 5'6, he says he looked like Vince Hizon? well, we talked about business and pretty safe stuff... after that we had coffee at starbucks... i thought i was getting laid, and i was pretty much prepping myself... but i was wrong, the nite drew to a close at around 2 in the morning, we said our goodbyes and he gave me a handshake... i thought that was nice, we talked on the phone when i got home.

...his name is Michael, i call him Mikey. He was my life then! He really did work me up good, it was really hard for me to get him off my mind. Not a day would go by without either a phonecall or an sms from me to him.... i was crazy! ...finally, after maybe several meetings and dinners (which i would travel halfway around the metro just to meet him), after watching the movie, Elf at Robinson's Galleria, we had coffee at Starbuck's at the Megastrip. He was already hinting at the inevitable.... so by the time we got to his car, he was doing reverse psychology on me and who was i to argue, it came from me... "...if i want to do it for the first time, i'd prefer doing it with you..." my heart was beating fast and i was shaking... mixture of emotions i dont know... then he goes, "then lets do it... are you sure?" Orchids Motel at the end of Shaw... thats where it all happened.... my first kiss, my first blowjob, my first everything... thats where i lost it all...

...The coming days were a blur... but Mikey really did had a hold on me... i just couldnt forget about him... i guess, there was an emotional attachment of some sort giving a part of you to him, that you couldnt to anybody else.... True, i was seeing other people, and it was his idea for me to do so... i told him, i loved him, but he said, i don't know what i wanted.... maybe i'll meet someone and leave him... of course thats not the case... so i met people...and those were the times that ive met, the ugliest, lamest, stupidest people in the metro... and because of that, i wanted him more! ... he was by far the only decent guy i met thru txtjam! hahaha.... what do i expect! who chats on TV.... (i dont know if the channel is still in existence, its hosted by RJtV)

Eventually, i felt the feeling wasnt mutual, and that he took me for granted, he was reciprocating what im giving him... i felt trampled and stepped upon (maybe too harsh of an adjective) but thats how i felt. He was at one point ignoring me... and he says he'll leave for Canada, i was devastated.... i would see him for the last time, but noting happened, i guess thats how he felt... nothing... we went out for almost 6 months, and in total we only slept together 4 times.... a feat? i dont know...thats something im not really proud of.

MOnths went by and no word from him, eventually, i moved on, then out of the blue, i got a yahoo message from him... by then the wound was still fresh, it was really hard for me to ignore him. After a year, and several guys later... i learned to move on... and i learned to forget but not to forgive...

THe coming months, he would establish communication saying he would fly back to see me... and he did just that, but i wasn't in the mood to see him so i would make excuses saying i was out of the city and so forth... only to come back on his departure date. But then i saw him eventually after two years.... i looked better, and he looked the same, i saw him, that evening, and my entire night was ruined! He really wasnt doing anything... he was actually being really nice, i don't know...maybe i was hurt... -end-

6 comments:

MISTERHUBS said...

Hey Wentle!

I like this entry! It reminded me of my eye-ball days of yore.. long hours on the phone, the nervousness of the first meeting, the awkwardness of sex..

Anyway, hope you continue blogging. You have a lot of interesting stuff here. Cheers!

Wentle said...

hahaha... tell me about it... more interesting stuff hopefully to pique peoples interest... hehehe... well at least i got my 10th visitor already! hahaha... its a good start...

Anonymous said...

The scene sounds awfully familiar to me... don't you think? nuninunini

Wentle said...

nuninunini... hmmm... i only hear those words from someone! hehehe... if im not mistaken... how was the subic shot?

Anonymous said...

subic? duh? you don't know me.

Wentle said...

sorry...i mistook you for someone else...hehehe... lets look for your future boss, sorry anon! =P