Saturday, May 26, 2007

Ideal Man

We all have our ideal man, our Prince Charming, in the deepest recesses of our minds. We have a vision of who we want our partner to be... the looks, the brains, everything... a perfect picture of the man you want to be with... have you met yours? i have....

This is actually a follow up on my (gay)life story... remember Mikey from my previous post? Well it was several months after he left for Canada and ignored me for the longest time, that i finally got over and started seeing people again. It was around September of 2004, in one of the yahoo chatrooms that i got to talk to someone... (horndawg something something) ..the first few lines were already interesting that i got hooked in talking with him. I felt really comfortable, talking with him and exchanging life stories, this of course happened in a span of several months.... in short, i found him really interesting... finally, when we exchanged pictures, he looked rather plain nothing special, his pic shows him in the ocean with his chest up showing.... a typical beach outing picture...

Fast forward to December... (exactly a year after Mikey), the thing with Alex (lets call him that, as that was the name he first gave me) is that we would exchange messages only at a certain time but i wasnt really keen on texting him, we do get a chance to talk almost everyday online. He is an IT in one of the buildings around Greenbelt. So it was around 4pm our usual, meeting online, a regular day... that i finally said, why dont we meet up? His immediate answer was, im actually sick, i have the flu and im meeting my sister at the Galleria after work so i dont have a lot of time. My reply, thats perfect, since i have a hair appointment with my stylist at Rustan's Makati... we can just meet up, a hi-hello meeting thats all, just to kill the suspense. Eventually, he said yes. The time was 5:00, anticipating hell traffic, i decided to take the trains from Araneta Center. Our agreed time was 5:30. I called him telling i will be a lil late... he said, he'll wait at G4 timezone area, Taters...he'll grab some snacks. I thought perfect, that'll keep him occupied for the moment... but boi i was rushing! To keep him busy, i texted him, what are you getting? he said, nachos... my exact reply was "...save me some =P" ...almost 6 i finally arrived at the Ayala center... rushing towards our designated meeting place and almost 30mins late... i saw a lone guy in red striped shirt sitting in one of the tables....

...I approached him, with my usual jolly self and Puss-in-boots sorry look... i said, "sorry im late" he was nice enough and say its okay... its true, he was having the sniffles... but he did meet me, i got my first chance to look at him closely whilst sitting at the table... he offered his nachos, it was already cold and stiff... i told him, "i was just kidding but thanks for saving me some"

After 30 mins upon meeting him, i said, arent you gonna be late to meet your sister... his reply was, dont you have a hair appointment? ...i said, its okay, im late for it anyway, i can always reschedule... then he said, yeah. i wont be able to meet my sister, we'll just do our xmas shopping one of these days.... It was what i wanted to hear... we talked for almost 2 hours... mostly about the guys we met, he met a few, so was i... how we started, about our lives, our families...travels etc... all the time i was checking him out.. he was perfect at every angle... his picture didnt do him justice... and when he opens his mouth, everything that comes out of it was perfect... his sense of style, perfect... sorry i really have to stress it again... he was fuckingly PERFECT! He was my ideal guy...the guy in my dreams...the guy i think about that i will be with the rest of my life... who would have thought that i am actually face to face with my ideal mate!

Allow me to describe him: he was 25 at that time, standing 5'8, with a lean build (perfect!), filipino-chinese (real, real nice face!), perfect skin tone, nice hands... gosh... everything was just right! he's educated and cultured, and comes from a good, good family. I have to add, his sense of style does compliments mine, which is a rarity! And he looks really, really delish! =P hahaha...

After that initial meeting, we actually went home together since, he was along the way, i was then living at our house in Quezon City, he is from Valle Verde (hmm, no nasty thoughts, just yet, guys!hehehe). That evening, we started exchanging messages constantly and it was really nice. We meet up the following morning and decided to have dinner at El Cuento in G4 (where heaven and eggs now is), it was recommended by my bestfriend... we would cook our own meat, it would be lovely, i thought it was perfect! ...driving thru edsa sa a breeze, anticipating the nites pleasures... i scheduled an appointment with my stylist... it was perfect, he would leave his office at 5, then we can meet by 530ish... go around the mall, have dinner at 7. Perfect...

Dinner was really nice, i made a fool out of myself but hahaha...its all good. Food was utterly delish! company was even better! ...then after that... this was Thursday btw... so we really didnt have anywhere else to go (or so i thought), he said maybe i want to drink, i said, its okay...how about you... he told me, he can accompany me... hmmm... i told him... well, if you want we can go somewhere private so we can talk... (hint hint) ...he agreed... and so the inevitable happened...

note: his kiss was perfect (im on the verge of tears reminiscing...) but actually, i was holding myself, i was being a "manang!" it was just kiss, lick, rub and jacked off! =( ...but at that time, i thought it was the best sex ever! i really liked just being around him....

i drove him home. on the way we talked, he happened to like Greece and greek culture, i was fishing for infos for a gift that ill get him for xmas... he told me, that he likes gifts na pinag-isipan, something well thought of... We exchanged pleasantries and i was "kilig to death!"

...I got him an alabaster bust of Pythagoras from Italy from Rustan's... why, (he loves Greek culture, Pythagoras is a greek mathematician, Alex does computer, computer = binary numbers = math!) dang...i really thought about it big time! (a side info that will be important later)

It was Christmas and it was tradition that i go home to my hometown and spend it with my parents. As soon as i left, he texted me wanting to go out...i told him i will be out for the holidays but will be back first thing January... we still kept in touch, i was talking to him when New year came...

...to make the long story short... I never saw him again... =_( ...series of events, first i got the pox en route to manila january so went back home to recuperate, his cousins from Canada came so they went around the country, then his grandma died so they all had to fly to Canada... we would still exchange messages every now and then.... on ym then finally... on that fateful day of May, i got a message from him saying.... "thanks for everything and understanding me, but the person that i want to be with is here, SHE just got back from Beijing..." (on one of our conversations, he did tell me about her) The reason why i got a unit near greenbelt was actually because of him but i guess fate knew better...

I guess, Ideal may not really be ideal at all... no happy ending in this story...


I browsed thru my journals and came across some of our text conversations, im sharing this important part of me to you guys:

AFTER OUR FIRST MEETING:

December 13 (20:24) Hey, thanks for texting, i kinda decided that if you didnt text me tonight then you didn't like me. haha... weird of me to think that but... well, hehehe... so it's great chatting with you. Sorry i wasn't much of a conversationalist as i enjoy listening more than talking. Anyway you have a good evening and get home early to make up for the lost rest. See ya!

Wentle: (i prolly said something sweet...hehehe...) im home already how about you?

Alex (20:45) Okay... hehehe... i am actually home, in the shower... yeah yeah.. im wet, naked and soapy and hahaha... okay enough of this... nyt JR!

THE FOLLOWING DAY, OUR FIRST DATE, BEFORE AND AFTER:

December 14 (Wentle) Ey there Rudolf (i called him rudolf, since he was having sniffles), JR got this 330 hair appt at H later, feel like bumping into him maybe 4 dinner perhaps?

Alex (15:50) hahaha... then i guess you just abt missed your appt again. I am finishing up on a report i gotta submit by 5. Anyway, what're your plans?

Wentle: I'll try 2 squeeze me in =) till what time?

Alex (16:02) Works till 5 but i might stay a bit longer. Ill text you later.

AFTER:

Alex (22:00) Hey, umm.. i wasnt expecting to do all that w/ you tonite as i thought you just wanted company for dinner. Oh well... you have a good night JR...

Wentle: Well... JR takes things as they come, ur good company, thats rare 4 me to find. U get well soon and ill see you one of these days =) aight.

Alex (22:01) Btw, it was a good haircut... dont fuss over it else i tackle you to the ground =P

---
i actually sounded like i had control over the situation, but i really really liked him... the last line, ill tackle you to the ground is something i always use...like a lambing to him...and he used it on me, so i thought that was really sweet =( ---

FEW DAYS BEFORE LEAVING FOR MANILA:

Wentle: what you doing friday?
A: hahaha... you got something in mind? =P sorry im going out w/ a cousin na..
W: tsk, tsk, naughty boi talaga, hehehe... i wl be in d area kasi mag blims ako sa friday, hehehe...
A: ah sorry i cant.. hehehe, maybe next time if youve something interesting in mind, hahaha...
W: interesting, hmm... i wonder what that could be, hehehe... chaffeuring mommy all day, kapagod! haaay, how about you, how was your day?
A: working my ass off.. boss is abroad kasi so that translates to tons of work! oh well... ill just relieve and destress myself later, hahaha...
W: ...relieve & destress later... hmmm.. toilet break? hehehe.. d b dapat as the old saying goes... when the boss is away, horndawg will play.. hehehe...
A: hahaha...wanna play with me? hehehe.. anyway ttyl... gotta get some work done.
W: alright, dnt want to get you tired now, hehehe... one more thing. What does ttyl mean?
A: talk to you later

----
how come the mood is different, i actually just noticed this now =( ----

WEEK AFTER PREVIOUS CONVERSATION (BACK IN NAGA WITH THE POX)

WENTLE: washt up? hehehe
A: work... lots and lots of it! Hay buhay!
W: guess what happend to JR! im back in naga, left mla last nite, caught something in transit! Grabe, lets just say i wont be seen in public anytime soon. Now thats hay buhay!
A: hahaha...whats that you got? chicken pox? measles?
W: wow ur good! hehehe... yea ur right, im uglee! no, UGLY! wait, im ugly and gross! geez.
A: hahaha...chill dude... just stay in an airconditioned room instead =)
W: totally annoyin and pissin me off not to mention uncomfortable and gross and i cant even sleep well, argh! had it b4?
A:
yup when i was a kid. Ive scars to prove it too! hahaah...anyway gotta get back to work...keep your hands off yourself. I'd give you some rubbing when you get back to manila... hahaha
W: awooo (JR howlin like a crazed wolf, heheheh) sige na... well actually i cud sure use some1 to giveme some rubbin rite now heheeh, it itches! hehehe... laters boi =)

---
lifes a bitch huh... maybe he totally grossed out on me =( ---

JANUARY 24 : OUR LAST RECORDED CONVERSATION

Wentle: Whats my greekboi doing? still busy mah friend? need to eat real food, been eating junk all week =)
A: hahaha... my tummy hurts nga e... had to rush lunch kasi...anyways ttyl
W: i was referring to dinner =) aww.. let JR run his hands over A's tummy so he'll feel better na =)
A: hehehe...im planning to get my haircut today. Can't bear it na... my hair's so unruly! hahha... so maybe next time
W: hehehe... cant haircut wait even for a day? Pwease with gelato (
he loves gelato) and cherry on the side? hehehe, act getting tired of eating out alone.
W: ok you get an extra cherry but thats it, cge na nga 2 cherries, hehehe... Act, i might be busy coming days, going to be a very stressful week ahead, im filing a complaint against a prof. But lets leave it at that. U know ur company always make for relaxing and good conversation =)
A: hehehe...BOLERO! flattery goes nowhere with me =P anyways, will check... get back to u on that later.
W: dapat ako na bigyan mo ng cherries! hehehe... well ill be in d area siguro by 4, well, hope you could join me =) anyways get back to work, baka magalit na boss mo sakin =)
A: just curious, what r u coming to makati for? am still unsure tonight cause m checkin with a friend moving on thing thats set for tom. Frankly, im a bit short din now cause am saving up for a trip... txt u back later kiddo =)
W: I go there to eat =) out of habit na kasi

A: hay... can't make it tonight sorry... btw im going on a vacation trip this thursday til feb14. dont text or call else we get charged. hehehe... have a good evening!!! =)

W: have fun... do i get something when you get back?
A: hahha... maybe... =P
Wentle: hmm... anyways have fun kiddo n be gud, tsk tsk, i guess its lonely dinner nites for me again, ehehhe... =)
W: oh one more thing cguro naman u can squeeze me in ur busy sched b4 u go? jst wondering =) hehehe... JR doing stunts, walking on his hands and doing cartwheels to convince A to go out with him =) hehehe...
A: hehehe... sorry.. have plans na kasi...
W: mahina pala ako sayo =) hehehe

---
yes, at one point i was like that! sad but true---

this is prolly the longest post to date, or at least the longest in terms of composing it, i had to go through my journal entries for the dates, and conversation records.... needless to say, we didnt get to see each other again. I guess i just had to read between the lines that he wasnt as interested as he once was... but what happened? even now it still is a mystery to me =( ...but nonetheless at one point, i had one of the best times of my life... well not really! i guess being with your ideal isn't so ideal if its not mutual...in the end...we have to move on...and move on i did... the thing with me is, if someone tells me he doesn't like me or is not interested, split second, i loose interest too... well... this is a sad story but it still has a happy ending =)

...you ask why? hmm... remember the gift that i got for him supposedly for xmas, but since we didnt get to meet anymore, i thought that ill just give it to him for his birthday (jan XX - which for some freaking coincidence is also the same birthday as Mikey!) ...but since we didnt get a chance... i get to keep it! nyahahaha...



6 comments:

Phoenix said...

Aww you'll be fine dear, we always are- it's a gift PLU's have..

reyville said...

cute nya.. hehehehe..

Wentle said...

...thats true phoenix =) .... hmmm maybe the Phoenix should be another gay symbol... rising out of the ashes, rebirth... moving on... =)

its all good... im doing better than ever and i know better too...

reyville: sino cute? =P

ski said...

thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment there...

u have nice entries, giving me fresher ideas.

mink_twink said...

ang lonely naman ng love story mo,
i hate goodbyes talaga... nakarelate ako, sobra.

Wentle said...

well its tragic... but its okay... life goes on...