Monday, July 9, 2007

Journey to Love


The end... end of an era, end of something, end of a phase.... well guys... just a few minutes ago a part of my life, a phase, a chapter, a page... just closed.

Well.. that about explains why I have been on a hiatus for quite a while.... aside from work and travel... i have somewhat tried to work on my emotional needs. But i guess... i am just too much of a man to be "caged" as he said.... i really dont know... i guess... either i am stupid to be dominant or was less of a man to be submissive... either way, its all over... i dont know what will come next

Needless to say... i can categorize this phase as a journey to the unknown... its safe to say that i have loved, but was never in a relationship... my past entries shows that it always ended nowhere... somehow this one i was hopeful... but am not as open to give in...for i am scared to be hurt in the end and hurt the other person in the process.

Im sure he will read this entry one of these days and as i promised.... no mention of him will be done. In any case... it was a series of events that have led to the eventual demise of feelings, both me and him, i suppose. Trust... not the condom! although that was an issue too =P seriously... i guess... i didnt trust him enough... although i was testing him, testing his character...testing his limits... or maybe he just didnt trust me as much as i thought he would.

To be caged? to be guarded... is fine... but up to a certain extent... i have been a wild stallion since i started and i like to go out and have fun... but lately... i am happier with travelling with him and chillin at home or at a resto... actually, he just cant believe that its me...he thinks its all for show. Maybe he knows me more than myself...i dont know...or maybe his sources have hacked my brain already so they know me more than myself...

It was fun while it lasted... a learning experience... i guess... i have never felt more loved and cared for... felt secure and protected... its funny now that i think about it... i act like a baby around him... which is something that no one gets to see... people always think of me as prim, proper and stern at times =( but i guess... i really felt comfortable around the guy so i can act silly, childish and stupid.

I guess... it wasnt meant to be and it had to end abruptly... on the other hand, its a good thing too since i have sort of been dependent on him for things... which normally i wouldnt.... well... you know who you are... and i just want to thank you for everything, i mean everything... its true, no one would have done the things that you have done and i am very thankful for having the chance to be with you for the last 4 months or so.

Hayy... im just blabbering... i guess this is still fresh from the oven! so... i might miss out on some important details...but i guess... in the end... he is really a nice guy... he kinda reminded me of me...and i turned out to be the bad guy... =( oh well... i was his first...and he was mine... (its for our own interpretation)

i miss the guy now =( ...but i guess like all journeys...it has to come to an end....

10 comments:

Latoya said...

You are very welcome. Keep in Touch...

rOckY said...

I'm glad you have taken this experience positively and have chosen to learn from it.

Luck to you and yours in the future. If you need someone to talk to, you have this geek in your corner ;)

Phoenix said...

this reminds me so much of the games i used to play- actually, the games all people who date play. i don't think you're on the losing end since you chose to learn from the experience. don't let this dampen your spirit.. as they say diba, Love like you've never been hurt ; )

Wentle said...

ei... thanks guys! im relieved...

@latoya: i will =) nice fro girl =P

@rocky: im glad you guys are there... my cyber blog buddies =)

@phoenix: yep its true...

...i guess in the end, it was a good thing... its a journey and it hasnt ended yet after all.. well see...

Anonymous said...

you're a good man wentle!

MISTERHUBS said...

I hope you learned your lessons, whatever they are, so that you'll handle the next relationship better. Or else, you'll commit the same mistakes.

Reyville said...

Falling in LOVE is one mysterious thing I still need to find out. It's love when one experiences heartaches, so as they say. We should never compromise ourselves from falling to someone but nevertheless, we should love ourselves more than anybody else. Be happy and live life to the fullest.

-=mink_blink=- said...

2nd post that ive read so far containing the phrase FALLING IN LOVE... i think when falling in love, the important question is: WHO WILL CATCH US WHEN WE FALL?

theTripper said...

let the next journey begin ;)

Lionheart said...

Naghahanap lang po for the next adventure! Sama ka? Sana makasama naman kita kahit isa man lang sa mga adventures ko!